


No Tattoos For This Dweeb, Sorry

by OhLordyItJordy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ...actually no i cant, ?????, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bokuaka - Freeform, M/M, Weed Raccoons, akaashi man..., and yeehaw, he calls people fool and you could kill me before convincing me otherwise, i can explain, just take it, never heard of them, tags???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-21 08:36:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhLordyItJordy/pseuds/OhLordyItJordy
Summary: Akaashi was ready. He was fucking prepared.Or so he thought.(Akaashi wanted to study and Bokuto decides it's a good time for a really weird dream.)





	No Tattoos For This Dweeb, Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually wrote most of this in an old composition book when I couldn't get a computer at school so it's probably trash but so am I so I guess it fits ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Coffee shops were a pain.

College was a pain.

When the two collided, that was the biggest pain. Akaashi Keiji had endured that pain on a daily basis, but he'd, unfortunately, run out of mental painkillers.

He thought he could study in the corner booth of the shop with only the occasional disaster. The coffee shop seemed fairly quiet when he was working. Minor disturbances were bound to happen, of course. A machine crashes, a coworker calls off, the occasional drunk wandering in, the damned slushie war Kuroo had started(the shop didn't even have a slushie machine, where and how he managed to obtain all of that slush was one of the mysteries that kept Keiji awake at night). Keiji was ready. He was fucking _prepared_.

Or so he thought.

His plans were ruined- blessed, really- when one (1) Bokuto Koutarou crashed into the door, doing absolutely nothing to stop, or at least muffle, the loud sobs wracking his entire body.

He ignored the stares he received from strangers the occupied chairs and stools. Even from the booth wedged in the corner, Keiji could see the absolute determination in his stance. Bokuto marched up to the counter, not breaking eye contact with Kuroo, who stood on the other side frozen by the cash register.

Everything seemed to stop except Bokuto, who paused to calm the sobs enough to speak.

"Where is he?" Bokuto slid money across the counter. Keiji watched as a few strangers turned to whisper among themselves, probably creating a different theory each time. Kuroo glanced across the shop before focusing back on the man in front of him.

"Where is who? Why are you crying?"

Bokuto ignored his concern. "you know who I'm looking for." Keiji wished they would stop sounding so suspicious. He also really wanted to tell the tears streaming down Bokuto's face to kindly fuck off. They had no business being there.

Kuroo sighed, waving his coworkers back to work. "He's not working. I think that's him huddled back in the corner."

Keiji whipped back to his laptop and textbook. He tried to look as engulfed in his work as he could be when he could feel his boyfriend's eyes digging into him. The footsteps got softer the closer Bokuto came as if he was afraid of scaring him. Whatever motive he had was thrown out the window, because not two seconds later he was all but tossing himself into the booth. Keiji jumped as Bokuto's arms latched around his waist.

He looked up, sending subtle glares at anyone who dared to eye them strangely. His hand moved to Bokuto's hair, gently patting his head.

"Hello, Bokuto." He spoke calmly. His boyfriend just squeezed him a little tighter. It started to hurt his ribs slightly, but he didn't mind.

Keiji hadn't realized how cold he was until Bokuto- who he was sure had a furnace as a great-grandfather, wrapped his arms around him like a heated blanket.

"Akaashi."

"That's me." He knew not to ask what was wrong. In this state, it was best to wait and let Bokuto explain when he was ready. Until then, he let one hand rest on his boyfriend, trailing patterns onto the back of his neck. The other hand, however, had a job to do. Though it would take longer to type his assignment now, he deemed it worth the hassle.

Keiji successfully typed six (6) whole sentences- and accomplishment really- when Bokuto loosened his hold and sat up. His hair was slanted from his previous burial in Keiji's hoodie, and he looked absolutely fucking adorable. Keiji wondered if contact lenses that worked as cameras existed yet. He needed a damn picture of this.

_Maybe I'd have it framed. Or put on canvas, that would be better._

"'Kaashi, you ok?" Bokuto's head slanted like a puppy's, and Keiji needed another coffee before he did something dumb. Like, maybe kiss him, in public. When Kuroo was working and could easily start howling like a fool.

"Just fine. A little tired, though." He yawned to prove his point.

"Really? What did you do today? I bet it was exhausting." Fuck this. Fuck school. Maybe his professor would understand if he sent a message saying: 'Hey Sandra, my boyfriend is a damn angel, ok? Please understand that I am very much a real person and whatever hopes and expectations you had for me were crushed in the making of this almost-project. Yeehaw. -Akaashi Keiji'.

She'd probably let it slide. He was the only one that did the work, anyway.

"Something like that. I had to sprint after my work." Keiji smiled softly as Bokuto seemed to perk up.

"Was it the weed raccoons again?"

"Yeah."

His boyfriend squinted and it was like a punch to Keiji's gut, and it was so painstakingly adorable that he felt the need to kick a wall down to feel like the dignified person everyone thought he was. He questioned the laws of physics, it shouldn't be humanly possible to walk around campus looking as hot as he did and then turn around and look like this. You can't be allowed to be cute and hot. There had to be laws about this.

"What papers did they take?"

"Chem homework. I wish that damn professor would just give us online assignments like everyone else."

Bokuto leaned back against the booth, wrapping an arm around Keiji. He leaned into the warmth.

"Maybe you can bribe him. I heard that he really loves those rock candies and once tried to sell his second son for a lifetime supply."

"Did Kuroo tell you this?"

"Nah, I heard Yaku complaining about him to Lev."

"Wait, seriously?" Keiji sat forward, turning to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

"Yeah, I almost choked on my water when he said it." Bokuto grinned, and Keiji decided that he could not give a single fuck about whether they were in public. He kissed him, and it was great. Kuroo wolf whistled from the counter, but Keiji could just make him clean the bathrooms they next time they worked together, so who was the real winner here?

Keiji sat back and began emailing his professor, squinting at the mass of jumbled words.

"Hey, Akaashi? You probably shouldn't call him that, babe." Bokuto snickered beside him.

"Huh?"

"Read what you typed."

Keiji did. And thank god, because without Bokuto he would have totally sent an important email to his professor with the subject named "Hey, Fuckhead."

"Thank you. Bokuto."

"Anytime."

Keiji finished typing and promptly slid the computer in front of his boyfriend, who immediately started proofreading. He let his boyfriend do his thing while he put his head down.

Bokuto laughed and started reading aloud, grammar mistakes and all. "Listen here, ya little shit. I have tired a hell and your bitchass assignment was snatched by those damn rabid meth ferrets- Akaashi, we talked about this. Raccoons and ferrets aren't the same. That's like comparing a dog and a chinchilla."

Keiji popped his head up long enough to respond, "Whatever, they both have fur."

"That doesn't- alright. We're not doing this again, I'll go along this time." Bokuto continued to read.

"You know, I'm basically going to have to rewrite this entire thing."

"Why is that?"

"Well for starters, you called his water bottle "A boneless fountain", which makes no sense."

Keiji sat up, squinting at the computer. "Did I really?"

He did.

"I didn't think you even knew what that meant, Akaashi."

"I don't."

Bokuto got back to correcting the draft.

"Okay, I think I'm done. I left a couple swears and a note at the bottom saying that you wrote this at four in the morning after a mental breakdown so maybe he'll go along with it."

"Thank god, I would probably have an actual breakdown if it wasn't for you."

Bokuto laughed, resting his head on Keiji's shoulder. "Maybe."

Keiji sent the email, and they sat waiting for one back.

"Hey, 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, Bokuto?"

"Can I see your arm?"

Keiji frowned. Did this have something to do with why he was crying when he walked in? Keiji raised his arm, letting his boyfriend push his sleeve up to his elbow.

Bokuto let out a relieved sigh, wrapping his slightly shorter hand around Keiji's forearm. "Oh thank fuck."

He sounded so relieved that Keiji couldn't stop himself from asking about it. "Is everything alright, Bokuto?"

His boyfriend chuckled, wiping visible tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess it was just a bad dream." Keiji felt a twist in his gut.

"Was...everything okay?"

Bokuto wrapped his arms around Keiji's waist, pulling him closer. "I guess. No one was physically hurt."

Keiji raised an eyebrow. "Physically?"

"Yeah," Bokuto sighed, "I was emotionally, though. You like, got a tattoo of that one triggered Pepe on the inside of your arm, and said that it was the love of your life. I woke up bawling and didn't stop until I got here."

Keiji froze. Was he fucking joking? He looked to the side and watched as Bokuto sat there, trailing a pattern onto Keiji's forearm where that damn cursed frog was supposed in his dream. He was serious. All of that inner turmoil and contemplating a murder of someone that didn't exist was over a dream. He leaned back, staring at Bokuto.

Keiji sighed so loudly two people from different tables looked over. "Bokuto,"

Said man sucked in a breathe. "Yeah, 'Kaashi?"

"I am afraid of needles. I have sworn to never get a tattoo to you multiple times."  
  
"Well yeah, that's why I was so devastated. I was thinking like, 'Well since Akaashi is so scared of getting a tattoo, and refuses to get one with me, then that must mean that he loves Pepe more than anything in the world. That includes me. And I was convinced you completely dropped me out of your life to walk into the abyss with your meme tattoo. And I got so scared of you leaving that freaked out and woke up."

Damn. That was really cute. Keiji didn't know how to react.

Naturally, he flopped forward into his boyfriend's chest, groaning about demolishing a house.

"You could've just messaged me. I would have come home."

"I know, but I didn't think about that until I was a block away and it started raining. Plus, I knew you were trying to study."

"Thank you for the consideration."

**Author's Note:**

> VYUWOBTGWYBGRUOWGU THis was supposed to stop at "I am afriad of needles." w h y a m I l i k e t h i s
> 
> Hey. Headcanon Akaashi swears a lot more than people think he does. Yeah


End file.
